Hi. I'm Xanthe Paige and this is a blog containing my inner thoughts and desire.

This day was like any other day. Nothing special. Well it's Saturday so I consider it slightly special. I got my report card today. I good two 78s. Wow right? I finished reading Thirteen Reasons Why. It was a great book. I can relate for some reason. That book motivate me to make this blog. Well I still don't get it. Here I am, laying in my bed writing this. I feel weird. Is it because I'm writing this while chatting with Gerard? We're talking about US. Then my past love life brought up. I'm so stupid for asking him the reason why'd he want to court me. Now I'm hurt. Because of his replies. I'm expecting more. But Gerard is still Gerard. He's insensitive. I'm sorry. He even told me that my bestfriend's backstabbing me. So grateful of him. I'm sharing my stories to him but he doesn't want to know. He's not interested. Is he hurt or something? He just keeps laughing even I'm not. I typed "haha" but I'm not really laughing. Weird right? The pain is still in my heart like it's seed that turned into a rose. It bloomed. Now I know the reason why. I don't love you, Gerard. I hate you. I hate you for letting me fall for another boy and be hurt again and again. You just watched me crash in front of you. But here you are again. Giving a second go. I still let you. I'm such a fool for giving you a second chance. I think I'm the bad guy here. I let you court me even if I love someone else. His name's Gabe. I'm not sure of my feelings for Gerard and Gabe. Am I a two-timer for doing this? I don't know.

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