E R R O R ♥
Let it snow
Saturday, November 17, 2012 @ 4:23 PM | 0 notes


Two more years. Two more years to snow. I want to hold and taste it. I'm moving to Canada after 2 years. I'm really excited for that. I'm also going to Canada for college. I can't wait. Well that's it for now. Sorry friend. Bye.

Looking for Alaska... DONE!
Friday, November 16, 2012 @ 4:18 PM | 0 notes


I'm done reading looking for Alaska. It made me realize that life is precious and short. We should all embrace the chance that we are alive. I'll continue this later. Bye friend.

*no title yet*
Thursday, November 15, 2012 @ 11:28 PM | 0 notes

Since I can't sleep, here's a preview on my first book which will eventually suck.
___________________________________________



 It's 12AM in the morning. I still can't sleep and hungry. I am in needof sleeping pills right now. 

      "Sweetdreams Xanthe. Please fall asleep."

I can't stop thinking of how my life will work tomorrow. I mean later.It's my last day of school. I can't leave them yet. I just can't. I thinkI should stop thinking about that now. Okay. Close your eyes and imagine you're counting sheeps. 1..2..3...

      "Xanthe! Wake up!" 

 It's like I just blinked my eye and now It's morning. My ass is still attachedon our bed. Fantastic.     

       "Yeah Mom."

 I'm leaving them. I'm leaving my friends. I'm leaving Levi I'm leaving my life. But that's the plan. I can't ruin it. 


The Past
@ 5:23 PM | 0 notes

The Past by: Xanthe Paige

The past can't be brought back
It can be but It will lack
Lack of memories that once buried
That cannot be repeated.

Long laughs, holding hands
Laughing with one's before
Now all gone, changed
Why can't it be all replayed?

Looking at new stories in front
Those eyes of yours like you care less
Same people same scenario
Wish I can be a part of it again.

I miss you, you say.
Yet stupid to believe.
I say the present is different
If you compared it with our past.
_______________________________


All my feelings in this day are in that poem. I wrote that because of my friend being a drama queen about our friendship with our other friends. Maybe you won't get it so that's great. I want to write a book with that name. Xanthe Paige. What a great name. I'll name my future daughter that. It's Derived from Greek ξανθος (xanthos)meaning "yellow" or "fair hair". This was the name of a few minor figures in Greek mythology. Cool right? Now I'm reading Looking for Alaska with a fantastic background music which is Run by Daughter. The after part was sad. I didn't expect Alaska to die. I don't want her to. Well let's see what happens. 

The Beatles
Wednesday, November 14, 2012 @ 8:56 PM | 0 notes

My mom gave me the Beatles' anthology. I love the Beatles but I'm not quite excited holding or owning it. I have a fever and I'm going to be absent tomorrow. Well it's cross-age reading tomorrow and there's many people so I hate it. I want to tell children the stories that I love but that would terribly scare them. I'm supposed to dress like a stupid cowgirl but I think I'd ruin the reputation of the story. Any child would be terrified to see a girl wearing a cowgirl costume that is thin like a matchstick and has pimples all over her face. I think he/she'll end up crying. I'm no good with kids. They just get scared at me and I hate socializing with some. It's because of a 3rd grade girl that irritates me. She's all sparkly and girly and loud. I hate loud kids. Even adults or teenagers. I hate it. It makes my brain explode and my hand is saying "bitchslap her/him. Right now." Very weird mind of mine right? Oh well. Enough of that. My head hurts. I think I'm going to sleep after this friend. Oh yeah one more story before I go to sleep... Okay forget it. I'm going to bed. It missed me alot. Goodnight friend.

BOOK LIST
Tuesday, November 13, 2012 @ 10:46 PM | 0 notes


Here's a link tho.
( ) Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
( ) The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
( ) Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
(x) Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
( ) To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
(X) The Bible
( ) Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
( ) Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
( ) His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
( ) Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
Total - 2
( ) Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
( ) Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
( ) Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
( ) Complete Works of Shakespeare
( ) Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
( ) The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
( ) Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
( ) Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
( ) The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
( ) Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
Total - 0
( ) Middlemarch - George Eliot
( ) Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
( ) The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
( ) Bleak House - Charles Dickens
( ) War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
( ) The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
( ) Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
( ) Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
( ) Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
( ) Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
Total - 0
( ) The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
( ) Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
( ) David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
( ) Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
( ) Emma - Jane Austen
( ) Persuasion - Jane Austen
( ) The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
( )The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
( ) Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
( ) Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
Total - 1
( ) Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
( ) Animal Farm - George Orwell
( ) The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
( ) One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
( ) A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
( ) The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
(X) Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
( ) Far From The Madening Crowd - Thomas Hardy
( ) The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
( ) Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Total - 1
( ) Atonement - Ian McEwan
( ) Life of Pi - Yann Martel
( ) Dune - Frank Herbert
( ) Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
( ) Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
( ) A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
( ) The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
( ) A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
( ) Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
( ) The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night time - Mark Haddon
Total - 0
( ) Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
( ) Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
( ) Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
( ) The Secret History - Donna Tartt
( ) The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
(X) Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (haha, book report ko ‘to!)
( ) On The Road - Jack Kerouac
( ) Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
( ) Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
( ) Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
Total - 1
( ) Moby Dick - Herman Melville
( ) Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
( ) Dracula - Bram Stoker
(x) The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
( ) Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
( ) Ulysses - James Joyce
( ) The Inferno - Dante
( ) Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
( ) Germinal - Emile Zola
( ) Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
Total - 1
( ) Possession - AS Byatt
( ) A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
( ) Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
( ) The Color Purple - Alice Walker
( ) The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
( ) Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
( ) A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
( ) Charlotte’s Web - EB White
(x) The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
( ) Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Total - 1
( ) The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
( ) Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
(X) The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
( ) The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
( ) Watership Down - Richard Adams
( ) A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
( ) A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
( ) The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
( ) Hamlet - William Shakespeare
( ) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

Got this from a tumblr user. Credits to you. I'll just make this a guide on buying books.


Dizzy
@ 10:17 PM | 0 notes

Best picture to describe this day. Well sort of. I had fun failing my quizzes because I didn't read my lecture the night before the tests. Well that's me. You can't force me to study because I hate it. I got addicted reading books. I just read like 2 books in one week. What a badass am I right? Just kidding. I'm currently reading Looking for Alaska. I dig it. I like the story and I'm still on the before part because there's so much things to do that I can't finish it. On our English time, we watched Oliver Twist. The movie is neat. I like it. It caught my heart for a moment when Oliver was about to be killed then our teacher hit the pause button. That sucks tho. Here's a quote of the day.

"When you finally realize that you didn’t matter at all to someone, you begin to wonder if you ever mattered to anyone."
Well this stabbed me on my heart. My heart felt strange after I read it. Well obviously I can relate to it. I got 5 heartbreaking moments that I still remember clearly and It was like suicide. It felt like I'm in the end of life. Life compared to a thread, it's almost gone. I end up crying and cursing that person's name that he'll regret it but NO. They just watched me suffer by their doings. How fascinating. But there's one. That's Gerard. Now you're knowing my life better. He's my first boyfriend by the way and he gave my heart a first break. I was so stupid back then. I'm like "Don't leave me. I'll die for you. I'll die without you!" Reading it makes me sick. He just said that I can't do that. Well he's correct. I think I cried for him for 1 week without break. It's like my eyes' gonna pop out soon. Well I think that's all I can say today. I must sleep early as I can but 10pm is not so early. Goodnight.

Happy/sad?
Sunday, November 11, 2012 @ 10:13 PM | 0 notes

This day was okay. My mom bought me the book Looking for Alaska. I'm excited to read it during our DEAR or Drop Everything And Read program in our school. I've waited one week for that to happen so I'm kinda excited for tomorrow. I'm supposed to sleep this time but my mind keeps telling me to write this. Maybe this will be part of my daily routine. Writing a blog is a way of letting my stress free. I like that. It makes me feel that I'm talking to a person who cares about what I do/say. I wish that person existed here. I'd call him friend. I'd be more happy than usual. Right now I'm talking to Gerard. Well it's also a daily routine. He always talks to me. Well maybe he's that person I wish to exist. But not much. I'm expecting so much again. I hate my mind. It makes scenarios that are impossible to happen with him. Like cuddling in cinemas, playing videogames in his house, saying the sentence i love you to each other. Something like those. But that's impossible. He's not that kind of type. He shows his "love" for me when I'm infront of the computer screen. Kinda creepy right? Oh well. So. 'Til tomorrow. Bye Goodnight friend.

Tired
Saturday, November 10, 2012 @ 11:51 PM | 0 notes

This day was like any other day. Nothing special. Well it's Saturday so I consider it slightly special. I got my report card today. I good two 78s. Wow right? I finished reading Thirteen Reasons Why. It was a great book. I can relate for some reason. That book motivate me to make this blog. Well I still don't get it. Here I am, laying in my bed writing this. I feel weird. Is it because I'm writing this while chatting with Gerard? We're talking about US. Then my past love life brought up. I'm so stupid for asking him the reason why'd he want to court me. Now I'm hurt. Because of his replies. I'm expecting more. But Gerard is still Gerard. He's insensitive. I'm sorry. He even told me that my bestfriend's backstabbing me. So grateful of him. I'm sharing my stories to him but he doesn't want to know. He's not interested. Is he hurt or something? He just keeps laughing even I'm not. I typed "haha" but I'm not really laughing. Weird right? The pain is still in my heart like it's seed that turned into a rose. It bloomed. Now I know the reason why. I don't love you, Gerard. I hate you. I hate you for letting me fall for another boy and be hurt again and again. You just watched me crash in front of you. But here you are again. Giving a second go. I still let you. I'm such a fool for giving you a second chance. I think I'm the bad guy here. I let you court me even if I love someone else. His name's Gabe. I'm not sure of my feelings for Gerard and Gabe. Am I a two-timer for doing this? I don't know.